Like imaginary friends, super powers are never there when you need them the most. Impress real friends with today’s Groupon: for the price of your gullibility, you get a choice of seven types of powers from Groupon Malaysia. Choose from the following:
- Invisibility (valid in empty halls, empty rooms & empty restaurants)
- Glass wall vision
- Ability to read your own mind
- Super emotional strength
- Immediately find parking
- Turn money into cats
- Power of persuasion
Spurred by childhood heroes and an active imagination, mere mortals take on self-fulfilling prophesies sealed within sacred 75gsm parchments that lay out instructions, counsel, and omens of coveted superpowers granted only to those who can afford a printer. Ethereal vouchers not feigning substitution for radioactive spiders, Green rings, or actual physical strength come with wise words on circumstances to avoid in ensuring safe and fair practice of maybe-not-crime-fighting abilities at home, around the neighbourhood, and parents’ basement.
- 1x superpower
- 1x great responsibility
Powers are non-reversible; refunds may not be granted in the event of coincidental similarity with friends, colleagues, or the Avengers.
Phone: 012-700 700 - Nik Fhurie (Call 10am – 10pm daily)
Caleb, who purchased Invisibility, can now appreciate abstract art in peace, without being bugged by needy artists or actual artwork.
With his new Glass Wall Vision, Mr Xiong can now supervise his multi-billion dollar contract from his plush leather seat to spot slackers, sloths, and the new secretary's receeding hemline.
Here's Daniel. He can read his own mind. He does it so effortlessly, his girlfriend Sarah has no idea.
Iona and Caroline have super emotional strength. Their hula-hoop shortcomings barely overshadow how they feel about Sven cheating on Anjelica with her sister, Yvette. Oh no she didn't!
"I can now park anywhere, much like how I bury my bones." – Sammy
This is Stephanie. She had a lot of money. Now she has a lot of cats.
In less than 5 seconds, Laveenia can persuade anyone to try her homemade mango lassi. She also sells tap water, oxygen, and swivel car seats.
I have always wondered what goes on behind closed doors. Now I can, with this wonderful new ability! It's almost too easy; all I have to do is open my eyes and suddenly I can see what's happening on the other side of the wall. It works perfect with my glass house, allowing me to practice my abilities in the comfort of home. My children are big fans of it too. The only problem with this is that I only have three eyes with which to use my ability. – Feb 16, 2013
Fellow Justice Leaguers used to say I was useful in about ¾ of the missions we were on and how I would never be half the man Superman was; but since taking on the power empowerment program, I am now on my way to telepathically improve fish and human relations seawide – Nov 12, 2012
PUNY HUMANS – Jan 4, 2013